Bravely Connected

This week I was thrilled to interview two amazing guests from Australia, Bernie Godwin and Anna Hopper, joining me to delve into building a culture of connection, joy, and responsibility in our schools, but with how this can relate to our personal lives.

Recently, we hosted a three-part masterclass focusing on how to create a culture of connection, joy, and responsibility. We explored strategies that apply not only to teaching but also to parenting and human relationships. This week on the blog are the key concepts from our masterclass: being a powerful person, behaviour education rather than behaviour management, and building a culture of empowerment.

Becoming a Powerful Person

The concept of a powerful person originates from Danny Silk’s work, focusing on self-management irrespective of external circumstances. Bernie Godwin explains that being powerful doesn’t mean being dominant or controlling. In fact, control and manipulation are signs of powerlessness. Instead, a powerful person manages themselves well, sets boundaries, and demands respect in relationships.

Imagine if everyone mastered these skills. Our workplaces, political systems, medical institutions, justice systems, and educational environments would be transformed. Bernie emphasizes that being powerful is about doing one’s part, managing oneself without overstepping into others’ territories, and requiring respect for oneself and others.

The Language of Powerlessness and Power

Anna Hopper shares her journey of recognizing powerless language in her life, such as frequently saying, “I have to.” This phrase implies being controlled by external factors or others’ expectations. Transitioning from powerless to powerful language involves consciously choosing phrases like “I will” or “I won’t,” which reflect personal commitment and control.

This shift in language is crucial in schools, where students can learn to manage themselves better by adopting powerful language. Teachers, too, can model this behaviour, creating a ripple effect throughout the school community.

What if we had this shift of language in our relationships? It could be quite significant. Bernii shared a powerful example of her wedding day. Imagine her getting to the altar and as her soon-to-be hubby gets to the vows, he says, “I’ll try” to the call to cherish and to hold till death do us part? No, there is a commitment to say, “I do”, or “I will” that makes our relationships work.

Behaviour Education vs. Behaviour Management

Behaviour education is about balancing responsibility and relationship, focusing on internal self-management rather than external control. Behaviour management often relies on punishment and compliance, which doesn’t foster long-term positive behaviour changes. In contrast, behaviour education involves a slow, reflective process where students learn about the impact of their choices and how to plan for better future outcomes.

Bernii highlights the importance of slowing down to the speed of relationship and guiding students through understanding their behaviours and taking responsibility. This approach encourages students to think critically about their actions and develop a deeper sense of accountability.

Slowing down to the speed of relationship in any relational context means, “I will manage me, not you.”

Building a Culture of Empowerment

Creating a culture of empowerment involves coaching students to solve their problems without taking away their control or responsibility. In the Loving Our Students On Purpose Philosophy, we use Danny Silk’s empowerment model that involves empathy, curiosity, and structured questioning to help students think through their challenges and come up with solutions. Think “motivational interviewing” that’s accessible to all.

This model is effective across all age groups, from young children to high school students. It encourages students to take ownership of their problems, find solutions, and experience the positive feelings associated with taking responsibility.

The empowerment model answers an important question we all must ask in our relationships: “Who’s problem is this?”. Many relational conflicts could be solved by starting with that question.

The Long-Term Impact of Empowerment

We need to view education as a 13-year journey, where students develop their skills and character over time. This long-term perspective helps educators stay motivated and see the bigger picture of their impact.

By fostering a culture of empowerment, schools can produce graduates who are not only academically proficient but also emotionally intelligent, responsible, and capable of leading themselves and others.

The same is true for any relationship. The long term journey wins if both parties are willing to take responsibility for their part.

Conclusion

Building a culture of connection, joy, and responsibility requires a shift from external control to internal self-management. By embracing powerful language, behaviour education, and empowerment, we can transform our schools, homes, and communities. This journey starts with small, intentional steps but leads to profound, lasting change.

Let’s continue to inspire and empower ourselves and others to be powerful, responsible, and connected individuals. And if you’re interested in learning more about the Empowering Culture we are bringing to schools, feel free to reach out to me by clicking here.

You can watch the YouTube interview of this blog post here.

You can listen to the Spotify interview of this blog post here.