Bravely Connected

I’m so glad you’re here. In this blog, I share tools for fostering personal growth and connection in children, students, and adults. I want to introduce you to a practical way to help people—whether in classrooms, workplaces, or homes—make sense of their experiences. The beauty of this method is that it doesn’t require waiting months for external help or expensive therapy sessions. Instead, it empowers us to take meaningful action right now by recognizing the stories behind behaviours, thoughts, and emotions.

The Power of Making Sense of Our Story

Many of us, when faced with challenges, think therapy is the only solution. While professional support is important and sometimes necessary, it’s not always accessible. Long wait times and high costs can make it difficult to get help when we need it. But here’s the truth: we all have the ability to take meaningful steps toward mental and emotional health. Often, people—whether kids or adults—just need someone to help them make sense of their story.

Understanding our own story rewires our brain. When we explore our experiences, we move from a reactive state (our limbic system or amygdala) into a calm, problem-solving state (our prefrontal cortex). That’s where real change begins.

A Fun, Visual Tool for Schools, Teams, and Homes

This framework is as practical as it is effective. All you need is a wrapped box—something as simple as butcher paper covering a regular cardboard box. Here’s how it works:

1. Step One: Notice the Behaviours
   On the top layer of the box, write down behaviours you’ve noticed—without judgment. This could include things like missing school, bullying, disengagement, avoiding responsibilities, or outbursts. You can do this exercise with your team at work, with students, or even by yourself. The goal is to identify behaviours as signals, not flaws. As I often remind people, behaviour is communication. Every behaviour tells a story, and this first step brings that story to light.
2. Step Two: Identify the Thoughts Behind the Behavior
   Once the first layer is unwrapped, participants write down thoughts linked to the behaviors. What thoughts might be driving the behavior? For example:
   • “I can’t do this.”
   • “It’s too hard.”
   • “I suck.”
   • “Everyone thinks I’m stupid.”
     Again, we’re not judging these thoughts. We’re simply noticing them. This step brings subconscious thoughts into awareness. As I’ve learned from personal experience—like when I struggled with drinking—understanding the thoughts behind the behavior is crucial for change. Once we become aware of those thoughts, we take the first step toward freeing ourselves from unhealthy patterns.
3. Step Three: Uncover the Emotions
   Beneath the second layer, we get to the emotions driving the thoughts and behaviors. There’s a lot of debate about whether emotions or thoughts come first, but what’s clear is that they’re deeply connected. Here, we write down emotions like embarrassment, regret, anxiety, or sadness. Naming emotions is powerful. As Dr. Dan Siegel’s research shows, acknowledging emotions brings order to chaos. By identifying these emotions, we take back control—they no longer control us.

The Gift Inside: Unwrapping Strengths

Now, we get to the heart of the exercise: the box itself. Inside, we find a simple, unassuming box—a metaphor for our true selves. Though the outside may seem plain, what’s inside is extraordinary. And that’s where strength-based resilience comes in.

We fill this box with sticky notes listing personal strengths. Participants write down things like:

• “I am resilient.”
• “I have grit.”
• “I’m a good friend.”
• “I don’t give up easily.”

This step shifts the focus from a deficit mindset (“What’s wrong with me?”) to a strength-based mindset (“What’s strong within me?”). The goal is to remind ourselves that while anxiety, frustration, or bad behavior might be part of our experience, they do not define us. There is always more good inside us than we may realize.

Empowering Inner Belonging

This exercise isn’t just about individual growth—it’s about building belonging. Imagine doing this with a group: after each participant adds their own strengths to the box, others contribute sticky notes with positive observations about them. This collaborative approach reinforces not only individual strengths but also creates a culture of appreciation and connection.

When people walk away with a little box filled with their own strengths—whether to keep on their desk, at home, or in the classroom—it serves as a tangible reminder that they are more than their struggles.

This is the essence of inner belonging: knowing your strengths, recognizing your value, and showing up in life with confidence.

Extending the Practice: Families, Teams, and Classrooms

This activity isn’t limited to classrooms. It works just as well with teams, families, and any group that seeks deeper connection. Imagine if each family member wrote down the strengths they see in one another—how powerful would that be?

Though it might seem silly to adults, the truth is that we all long to know we matter. Whether we’re parents, teachers, leaders, or students, we share the same questions: Am I seen? Am I doing enough? Is there anything good in me? This exercise helps us answer those questions in a way that brings connection and belonging.

Launching the Bravely Connected Schools Foundation

This passion for helping others connect and thrive has driven my work for the past 25 years, and it’s what inspired the next chapter of my journey: launching the Bravely Connected Schools Foundation.

This new foundation aims to address the gaps in our education system by working directly with parents, teachers, and students to co-create meaningful solutions. In partnership with my local community school, I am piloting a project this year with full access to all stakeholders—teachers, parents, and students. This beta program will serve as a blueprint to replicate and train others in creating environments of belonging and resilience.

Over the next 25 years, my focus is on perfecting and expanding this model through conferences, workshops, and collaborations, ensuring no student falls through the cracks.

How You Can Support

To make this vision a reality, my strategic board has set up a GoFundMe campaign to bootstrap the foundation while waiting for charitable status. If my work has ever helped you and you’re looking for a way to give back, please consider contributing to this cause. Supporting these kids, parents, and teachers is the best gift you could give.

Your donation will directly impact students and educators who need it most. If you’re interested in partnering with me, I’d love to connect to explore how we can collaborate. You can connect with me here.