Screens are often blamed as the top reason for disconnection in society. While they contribute to rising mental health struggles, stopping the conversation there is a mistake. We’re missing a crucial piece of the puzzle.
How Screens Became a Lifeline
When my oldest son was born in 2006, Facebook had just entered my world. As a new mom in a new city, exhausted and homebound, it became my connection to the outside world. By 2010, when my second son arrived, I finally gave in to the iPhone. I remember taking my boys to the play place—grateful for a space where they could run while I scrolled Facebook and Instagram. Every other mom was doing the same.
What we didn’t realize was how much we were modeling this behavior for our children.
Before We Tell Kids to Put Their Screens Down…
If we want kids to step away from screens, we need to do it first. We all know the recommendations—no screens before bed, no devices at the dinner table—but the real issue is setting the example. If leaders want engaged teams, they should put their phones away. If parents want connected families, the same principle applies.
Since COVID, our people tolerance has plummeted. Online, we curate our best selves, control interactions, and avoid difficult conversations. If we don’t like something, we scroll past it or block it. This has created a culture where people feel disposable.
The Algorithm Is Raising Our Kids
One of my biggest concerns isn’t just screen time—it’s the algorithm.
The first time I tried TikTok, I lasted a month. My son explained, “The algorithm just hasn’t figured you out yet.” That’s when it hit me—our children’s entire worldview is being shaped by algorithms.
For example, my boys reference jokes or ideologies from social media, saying, “Mom, it’s everywhere.” But my social media feed looks nothing like theirs. My algorithm serves me business and food content. Theirs shapes their humor, values, and beliefs. We live in the same house but exist in different realities.
The Erosion of Shared Experiences
When I was growing up, we had family shows like Full House and Family Ties. Everyone watched them and discussed them together. Today, streaming algorithms cater to individual preferences, meaning family members consume different content. Without shared experiences, connection weakens.
Even my 18-year-old son notices the divide. He struggles to understand today’s eight-year-olds. The generational gap is growing at an alarming rate because digital experiences are shaping childhood in vastly different ways.
The Real Issue: Disconnection
It’s not just about screen time—it’s about how the algorithm is pulling our children out of the family circle into a digital world we can’t access. Parents no longer know their children the way they used to. Kids see their parents as out of touch. This gap is bigger than ever.
Rebuilding Connection in a Digital Age
So what can we do? Prioritize shared experiences. Be intentional about reconnecting. Break free from the algorithm’s grip and foster real-world interactions.
- Create shared memories. Spend time together in ways that foster connection—hiking, family dinners, or watching a series together. It doesn’t require money or even much time, just consistency.
- Be present with others. We need to reclaim in-person connection. Bravely connected spaces allow for diverse opinions, deeper understanding, and meaningful relationships.
- Recognize the impact of social media. Online, we reduce people to profile pictures and status updates, forgetting their humanity. The “red car analogy” illustrates this—when a stranger cuts us off in traffic, we react negatively. But if we meet that same person in a coffee shop, our perception shifts. We must bring that humanity back into our interactions.
- Host community gatherings. Whether it’s potlucks, backyard parties, or workplace “popcorn parties,” we need more spaces where we interact face-to-face.
The Future Belongs to the Connected
Screens aren’t going away, but we can choose how we engage with them. Instead of just discussing their downsides, we must actively create spaces for real connection.
How will you foster brave connection this week? Share your ideas with me—I’d love to feature them. Because in a world shaped by algorithms, true human connection will be the most valuable currency of all.
Bravely Connected 
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