This week on the blog, we are exploring how to create a powerful culture in schools, homes, and communities. Special guest Bernii Godwin from Brisbane, Australia, shares insights from her book Loving Your Students on Purpose, inspired by Danny Silk’s work.
The Problem of Powerlessness in Schools
During recent teachers’ conventions, many educators voiced concerns about a growing sense of powerlessness. Teachers often feel burdened by responsibilities without the influence to effect change. This disempowerment impacts not only educators but also students and the broader school culture.
Bernii highlights that when individuals feel powerless, they either withdraw or overcompensate by becoming controlling. Neither response fosters a healthy learning environment. Instead, a shift toward personal responsibility and self-management is essential.
Defining Powerfulness vs. Powerlessness
Many people associate the word powerful with dominance, wealth, or coercion. However, true power is not about control, manipulation, or fear. Instead, it is the ability to manage oneself well, regardless of external circumstances.
Ironically, powerlessness can manifest as bossiness or dominance. Powerless individuals may hijack meetings, use fear tactics, or struggle with emotional regulation. These behaviors often stem from fear and a perceived loss of control.
The Three Traits of a Powerful Person
Bernii outlines three key characteristics of truly powerful individuals:
- Respect for Oneself and Others
- Powerful individuals choose to be respectful, regardless of how others behave.
- Respect is a personal commitment, not a reaction to external treatment.
- They set a standard for respectful relationships in their community.
- Setting Healthy Boundaries
- Boundaries are about self-regulation, not controlling others.
- Many mistake boundaries for demands—trying to force others to behave instead of protecting their own values.
- Powerless individuals allow their boundaries to be overrun, then blame others.
- Managing Oneself in All Circumstances
- Powerful people regulate their emotions and reactions, even in difficult situations.
- Teachers, leaders, and parents all encounter challenges, but their strength lies in staying composed.
- This ability is not about perfection but about recalibrating when things go off course.
A powerful culture is built when these traits—respect, boundaries, and self-management—are upheld collectively.
Returning to Relationship
Many conflicts stem from a loss of identity and purpose. Society often believes unity requires sameness, but true connection embraces differences. The metaphor of “holding my end of the rope” illustrates how relationships, like ropes, are woven from many fibres. Strong connections can endure tension without breaking, while weak ones fray under stress. When challenges arise, one person must hold on, because if both let go, the connection is lost. Just as a rope requires care to stay strong, relationships need continuous investment to reinforce their fibres, ensuring they remain resilient through life’s pressures.
Connect before you correct?
The common phrase “connect before you correct” can sometimes feel manipulative if the relationship is already weak. True connection must be built long before it is needed. Relationships should be nurtured continuously, not just as a strategy for influence. Genuine connection creates a culture where correction is received with trust.
Final Thoughts
Building a powerful culture requires intentionality, self-management, and a commitment to connection. Whether in schools, homes, or communities, embracing respect, boundaries, and relationship-building transforms environments into spaces where individuals thrive.
By fostering a sense of responsibility and emotional resilience, we empower ourselves and those around us to create meaningful, lasting change.
Watch this on YouTube where I interview Bernii. Our conversation takes this blog deeper. Click here to watch
I’m on a mission to create bravely connected communities. I am dedicated to this mission because connection heals, community uplifts, and belonging transforms. When we foster real relationships, we break the cycles of addiction, poverty, and isolation—building a world where everyone feels seen, supported, and empowered to thrive.
The opposite of addiction is connection.
The opposite of poverty is community.
The opposite of isolation is belonging.
If you want to join me on this mission for YOUR community or school, let me know! Connie@conniejakab.com
Bravely Connected 
Leave a comment