Bravely Connected

Welcome to September friends! As usual, this year I’m committed to giving you tools to build deeper connection—with yourself and with others. We call it brave connection for a reason: it takes courage. It’s brave to look inward and connect honestly with yourself, and it’s brave to step outside your door and create connection with others.

How do you handle it when someone rubs you the wrong way, or when connection feels impossible?

You’re Not Engaging With a Person—You’re Engaging With a Story

When you interact with others, you’re not simply engaging with their personality in the moment—you’re engaging with their story. Every person carries experiences, words spoken over them, and past circumstances that shape how they behave today.

For example, I was bullied as a little girl. If I sense rejection in a group now, my instinct might be to shrink back and grow quiet. Why? Because my story tells me that’s how I should respond.

But here’s the good news: when we become aware of our story, we gain the opportunity to grow beyond it.

From Story to Self-Awareness

Your past doesn’t have to dictate your future. You get to ask: Who do I want to become? Do I want to stay stuck in old patterns, or do I want to bravely write a new story?

Many people live trapped by their trauma. The story keeps dictating the same reactions, the same walls, the same behaviours. But self-awareness helps break the cycle. When we pause in the middle of a triggering moment and ask ourselves, Where is this response coming from? we start moving toward freedom.

This isn’t about judgment. It’s about curiosity. You don’t always need therapy to explore these questions (though therapy can be incredibly helpful). Sometimes it’s simply noticing: Oh, this is why I react this way.

And here’s the beautiful ripple effect: as you get curious about your own story, you’ll naturally become more curious about others.

Curiosity Leads to Empathy, Not Judgment

When a student gives you attitude, when your child shuts down, or when your spouse reacts in a way that annoys you, it’s tempting to judge. But remember—you’re not interacting with the surface behavior; you’re interacting with a story behind it.

That realization shifts us from frustration to empathy. We stop reacting to the behavior and start seeking to understand the story. That’s where connection is born.

The Only Person You Can Control

Here’s a reminder: you can’t control other people. Parents, teachers, leaders—we all learn this quickly. The only person you can control is yourself.

So when you learn to manage your own story and your own reactions, you gain the skills to connect more compassionately with others. It doesn’t mean you allow bad behavior or stop standing up for yourself. It simply means you go deeper than behavior and seek the heart beneath.

Everyone Has a Story That Will Break Your Heart

Every person you encounter carries unseen experiences, pain, and history. Everyone has a story that could break your heart. If we want true connection, we need to look past surface behaviours and seek the human story underneath.

But it begins with us. When we bravely engage our own story, we open the door to engage others with empathy and compassion.

Write Your Own Story

This week, I encourage you to pause and reflect:

• What story is driving your reactions?
• Where did that story come from?
• Do you want to keep it, or write a new one?

Remember, nothing is written in stone. You get to choose your life story. You get to write the next chapter.

Did you know I have a podcast on Spotify or Apple where you can hear more about this? Check it out and keep being brave.