We hear the word resilient a lot these days. In schools. In workplaces. On social media. It’s a word that sounds strong and admirable — but what does it really mean to be resilient?
After 25 years of working in the field of mental health and resilience, I’ve watched how much the world has changed. Culture has shifted, schools have evolved, and uncertainty seems to surround everything — politics, environment, education, even daily life. In times like these, resilience isn’t just a nice quality to have. It’s essential. But I’ve learned that true resilience isn’t about bouncing back. It’s about learning how to bounce forward.
When Life Knocks You Down
I’ll be honest — in my hardest moments, I didn’t always bounce forward.
When my dad passed away, when I lost my business, and when life felt like it was falling apart, I didn’t feel strong or brave. I felt numb. I stored my pain and turned to alcohol to escape it. And I know I’m not alone in that.
So many people today — maybe even you — are doing the same. We try to ease the pain rather than face it. We sink into isolation or distraction, not because we want to, but because numbing feels safer than feeling. But that’s not resilience.
Resilience is the quiet voice inside that whispers, Get up. Try again.
A Moment on the Treadmill
I’ll never forget a moment years ago when I was running on a treadmill, tears streaming down my face, when the song Dare You to Move by Switchfoot came on. I was broken, exhausted, unsure if I had what it took to keep going.
But something in those lyrics stirred something in me — that tiny spark of life that says, You’re not done yet. That’s what resilience feels like. It’s not loud or glamorous. It’s a flicker of hope in the middle of despair.
Resilience Is Reimagining a New Normal
Today, I work in disaster recovery — helping communities rebuild after losing everything. I’ve stood in the ashes of burned homes, helping families find small remnants of what was left behind. It’s humbling work.
Through those experiences, I’ve learned that resilience isn’t just about enduring. It’s about reimagining what life can look like now.
When everything you’ve known is gone — your home, your job, your loved ones — resilience asks, What now?
How can I tap into my human bravery and create something new?
How can I move forward without forgetting what was lost?
Resilience is the ability to rebuild — not as a return to what was, but as a re-creation of what could be.
What Rises from the Ashes
One of the most powerful questions I’ve ever asked myself is:
What has risen from the ashes of my life?
Years ago, when my family was going through a deep mental health crisis, I felt like everything had burned to the ground. But out of those ashes came unexpected beauty — strength, perspective, compassion.
Bravery and perseverance don’t come when we feel strong. They come when we’re trembling, broken, and unsure. It’s in those moments — when we least feel capable — that something new is rising within us.
We Need Each Other
Resilience isn’t a solo act.
When tragedy or loss hits, we need community.
Just recently, our neighborhood lost a beloved woman to cancer. We gathered together in our community building to grieve, remember, and support one another. It reminded me that connection heals.
During the pandemic, we all experienced what happens when connection is taken away. Those with strong community ties found ways to adapt. Those who were isolated suffered deeply. And now, even after the pandemic, many have forgotten how to reach out. Isolation has become a habit.
We’ve also lost the ability to sit with people who believe differently from us — politically, spiritually, socially. But true community means coming together despite our differences. We don’t need to think the same to love the same. That’s a resilience skill we need to rebuild.
Emotional Awareness: The Heart of Resilience
Another piece of resilience is emotional stamina — the ability to feel deeply and still keep moving.
We can be strong and creative while also feeling grief, anger, or loneliness.
My Attune IN process helps people name what’s really going on inside. When we identify our emotions and the thoughts driving them, we stop being controlled by them. Toxic, unspoken thoughts create sickness in our minds and bodies. But when we name them, we begin to heal.
Resilience isn’t about controlling everything in our lives. It’s about taking ownership of what we can control. Even one small act of agency can change the story.
Empathy: The Gift Born from Pain
There’s one more piece of resilience that I believe is essential — empathy.
When you’ve been through deep pain, you start to see others differently. You stop judging and start understanding.
Years ago, I used to think people struggling with addiction or mental health issues were “those people.” But when my own world fell apart, I realized how wrong I was. Brokenness doesn’t care who you are — rich or poor, married or single, educated or not. Crisis levels the playing field.
I once heard an Indigenous friend say, “We all bleed the same color.” And it’s true. Resilience teaches us to look at others and say, I see you. I value you. I won’t give up until you know you matter.
Becoming Collectively Resilient
If you work in education, community development, or disaster recovery — or if you’re just walking through your own storm — I want to encourage you: lean in.
Resilience isn’t a lesson we can teach in a classroom or print on a poster. It’s something we model. It’s something we live.
Let’s keep asking, What’s rising from the ashes of my life?
Let’s choose connection over isolation, empathy over judgment, circles over lines.
And let’s own our inner world so we can become collectively resilient.
Bravely Connected 
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