The Brave Podcast

If you’ve ever done anything, or tried something, stepped outside your safety to be brave – guaranteed your confidence has been shaken.

• Whether you’re a teacher having to face your grade 5 classroom,

• A CEO having to be extremely creative to lead in today’s world,

• A non-profit leader pressured to re-figure out how to raise funds in a world where scarcity seems to rule,

• A parent trying to figure out how to raise kids in a complex culture.

Every day we are faced with risk when we walk out our doors. There are days when we feel on top of the world, and there are days where we wonder if we have what it takes to do this. Then there’s the times in our lives when our confidence just gets crushed.

People say words that crush us. Relationships don’t work out the way we thought. We don’t perform the way we want to. We don’t get the gig. We invest people only to get burned. These experiences can lead us to withdraw, retreat, and decide not to do anything.

I remember a time when I got fired from a job that I loved. Rejection hurts bad. Even when we step out and it’s goes amazing, how many of us are just waiting for the shoe to drop? It robs us of present moments.

Here’s the thing, it’s not IF the shoe will drop, it’s WHEN.

You’re going to have setbacks, but just because a setback comes, it doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong, or you’re a failure, or you’re not meant to lead or dream. People can look at our Instagram and think “WOW, they must have it all figured out”, but what we don’t see is the struggle. I want to be honest about what’s behind the curtain. I don’t want to hear fluff. I want to hear what the journey has it really been like. This is what I want to hear, so I want to share that too.

If you’re going to be brave with your life, you need to know the mess isn’t because you lack:

• Wisdom

• Intelligence

• Talent

• It’s not because you’re not enough, it’s just the game and the way it goes.

Those who dare to dream will get hit with disappointment from time to time, but what’s amazing is that they are in the ARENA actually doing something! I love what Brene Brown says, “Don’t criticize me unless you’re in the arena getting your ass kicked.”  I like that.

So, how do you come back after your confidence has been crushed?

Here’s what I do when my confidence is shaken:

1. Pay attention to what makes you come alive – even if it’s challenging and hard.

Have you ever had so many things go well but then ONE thing throws you off? Why do we focus on that one thing rather than all the great things happening? You can have 20 people cheering for you, but that ONE person seems to get the real estate in our brain. Then we experience emotions like shame: I’m not enough. I feel others don’t see me as worthy, or I don’t belong. My behaviour becomes like sinking in quicksand. I sink into these beliefs.

The question isn’t whether people are going to support you. Some people will, and some won’t. Both will surprise you. It will surprise you who doesn’t support the way you thought, but it will also surprise you who does support you. People you never thought.

The real question is: do you love what you’re doing? Does it make you feel alive? If the answer is “yes”, then keep doing it no matter who is cheering you on or not. Do it because you love it and it brings you life.

2. Ask yourself, “Who do I have the courage to become?”

I’ve always wanted to be beautiful. As a child I was a chubby and bucktoothed. I would dream of one day becoming beautiful. Unfortunately bullying, and hurtful words because of my looks was my reality. Has anyone else ever felt like a misfit? Like someone just short of what it takes to sit at the cool kids table?

I’ll never forget being voted in for quite a large role. No one really knew who I was, but because the leadership endorsed me, people voted for me. I had to get up and give a speech when I was voted in. An older gentleman approached me afterwards saying, “You know, when I saw you get up on stage, I thought to myself, ‘That’s who I voted for???’” – like I said, I’m not that impressive at first glance. He continued, “But after you finished speaking I thought, “That’s who I voted for!!!’”

I may not be what I imagine an impressive person looks or sounds like, but I have decided to have the courage to not let my own limitations of what I feel I lack dictate who I’m meant to become and the impact I’m meant to have. Which leads me to my last step when you feel your confidence has been shaken.

3. List out your strengths

What are you good at? List them, not just your external strengths, but your internal ones as well – the strengths that can’t be taken from you that have been forged in the fires of your life. What’s the gold that is inside of you now.

Who you are is what has been forged in adversity.

“I am brave” came from some of the darkest moments of my life, when bravery was the last thing I felt. I discovered by getting up off the floor every time, that I am brave. I’ll never forget running on the treadmill in a gym listening to Switchfoot sing, “I dare you to move, I dare you to pick yourself up off the floor”, tears streaming down my face wanting to dare to pick myself up from the mess my life had become. My mess, my brokenness was about to reveal how brave I was.

But it doesn’t end there. With your strength, write down the opportunity connected to your strength. What opportunities could be there for you this week with the strength inside you?

This is where we discover we are Brave leaders.

• Teachers, you are leaders.

• Parents, you are leaders.

• Those who are daring to move organizations and businesses to create change, you are leaders.

• Solopreneurs seeking to launch a dream that can make a difference in someone else – you’re a leader.

And you are BRAVE.

We are going to fail AND things are also going to work out better than you thought.Your confidence will feel shaky through it all.What are you going to do?

I dare you to move.

Want more? Listen to this blog post topic on my Brave Podcast on Spotify or Apple.